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Black and brown women continue to amaze and impress me. There are so many deeply talented, empowering, brilliant, passionate, accomplished, beautiful, loving, powerful, black women that inspire me to hold my head high and represent us well. Let me pause to mention that it’s not lost on me that Beyoncé’s Coachella performance recently premiered on Netflix. If that does not scream greatness, then check for a pulse.
I was born into what I liketo call a “FEM TRIBE” I have cousins,sisters, mothers, grandmothers and aunts that by birth have been a backbone, integralto who I am. These women are my Day 1s, many of them knew me before I was bornso that’s like day negative 38 weeks! In addition to my family I feel trulyblessed to have a crème de la creme tribe of women that I have curated from allthe different stages of my life to inspire me, encourage me, build with me andkeep my secrets. I believe that these women have chosen me as much as I havechosen them and that our destinies brought us together with purpose. Ourcommitment to one another deeply enriches our lives. I consider myself fortunateto have them. They are my SHE SQUAD.
Do you have a squad? If the answer is yes, then I am preaching to the choir. Trust and respect are the currency that you trade in. You already know how it feels to have safe space, judgement free conversations that can start with talking trash and migrate to raw honest emotion about what lays ahead in life’s journey. You already know who you are going to call when you had a rough day or when you need the truth about how this outfit looks. The squad can be a reference for a potential new job, your shoulder to cry on when you have experienced a loss and all the way through to your partner in business.
The squad exists because they love you and ride for you, do your very best to avoid taking them for granted. Take the time to acknowledge your squad for what they mean to you. (Pause here for a text to your squad)
If the answer is no, take a minute and think about the types of influences you want in your life. What are the moments that you have felt at your best? Think of examples of when you have felt, seen, heard and celebrated! Those moments are driven by the people who inspired or helped to create those experiences in your life. Take the time to intentionally think of those people and make it your business to bring people like them in to your she squad. I want to caution you that this must be done over time. There is no way that you will find the right people at one time or in one location. Not to mention as you grow over time into more of who you want to be you will recognize that same growth in others. That’s when the magic happens. It is critical that you are like minded in values and character yet far from the same. Resist creating an echo chamber of people who will always agree with you, challenge and candor is healthy when there is reciprocal respect. There is no need to agree on everything ideally they are strong where you are weak. Compatible unique individuals are the goal. I didn’t know it then, but I was shooting for a tapestry of brilliant, beautiful, purpose driven, ambitious, honest and funny women to sharpen me in all areas of my life.
Some may see these connections as a want, but I believe a she squad is an absolute need to navigate the messiness and complexity of life. We all need people to affirm our gifts, amplify the best parts of us, forgive our flaws and adjust our crown without telling us it was crooked. Our spirits crave the vibes of good energy from people who want to see us win and are first in line to connect with us when they hear we have accomplished a goal and quick to right the record if they come across an inaccurate reflection of us. We need people to grow with us, to keep us grounded but not too humble that we doubt ourselves into not asking for the things we deserve in life. The easiest way to get a she squad is to behave into what you want for yourself; be a great friend, confidant and sounding board for another woman. Shout out to women who recognize that we are not each other’s rivals. We all love ourselves enough to celebrate other women because we know that lit candles can light other candles and their brightness never suffers.
This may have spoken to you directly or someone may have come to mind that needs to read this. Share this blog with them and point them in my direction. DM me @_GemsfortheJourney_on Instagram or Email me at gemsforthejourney@gmail.com
Now that you have them gems let me help you apply them to your unique journey in life or career. Each of us has what it takes to be great, let me use my gifts and proven tools to help you work towards who you want to be.